i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize