I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize