you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
