Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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