my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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