Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
