are you still at the devil's house?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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