TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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