yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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