I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
