Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think your dad took our porno
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
