So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
