like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
