Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
