Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
