Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
