I will die if light touches me.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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