The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
