did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Every concussion has its silver lining
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
