Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
