Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
