The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
