i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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