There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
