I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
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it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
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I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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