Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
