her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
