Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
