Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
