I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
