Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
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tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
nutella sex= disaster
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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