I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
from now on my penis is your penis
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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