Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
