How'd it feel making her break her religion?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
