May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
