He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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