throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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