Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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