i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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