it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize