Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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