I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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