I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
