Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
