I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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