you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
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I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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