Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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