We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize