"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
