like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
