It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
