Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
