this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
