One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
