We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
