she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
