I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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