I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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