Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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