filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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