How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
