I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How naked do you want me to be?
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