anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
