I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
