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• (906): View more from Michigan

  I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  a queef is a wish your heart makes.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  like it was yesterday

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.

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• (559): View more from California

  Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.

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• (661): View more from California

  There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.

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