you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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