Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
