as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
